Welcome to 2025 Black History & Futures Month!
“Death is not the end but the beginning.” – Jimmy Carter
Though we have reached the end of this “Grieving the Culture” series, we are only at the beginning of the next transformation of human history and culture. The series explores the relationship between spiral of grief (e.g. denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance) and the cultural competence (e.g. destructiveness, incapacity, competence, proficiency).
Grieving the Culture blog 4-part series Announcement
As our world continues to witness and experience a climate and cultural polycrisis, this series honors the critical role of grief in cultural transformation. Missed the previous installments? We got you!
- Part I – Saving Humanity One Tear at a Time;
- Part II – Anger, Denial, and Depression, Oh My!, and
- Part III – Where Intentions Meet Impact.
Take a deep breath. Inhale to embrace. Exhale to release.
From Sh*t to Compost
Our journey through the spiral of grief has come full circle, transformation seekers. We have explored anger, depression, denial, bargaining, and now we have arrived at the door of acceptance. Acceptance emerges from the depths of grief, just as the sun rises after the darkest night. It provides a ray of hope and a road toward significant change.
I first conceived this series a few years ago as I saw the increased cultural unrest and the sadness felt by those who had the audacity to believe another world was possible. A world where all have access, representation, meaningful participation, and quality experiences/outcomes. Though we saw increased investment in diversity, equity, inclusion, and justice, we did not see the structural and representative chances needed to share power across stakeholder groups. We are now experiencing the intergenerational backlash and push to maintain an unhealthy, unsustainable status quo where power is held in the hands of a few. Where culture is turned into a monocrop.
California and Chaos on My Mind
I first learned about the wildlife in California when it was ravaging the Pacific Palisades – my middle school home. In the late 1980s, I moved to the Palisades to live with my grandparents. Moving from Northern Virginia which has the Atlantic Ocean to California’s Pacific Ocean was such a thrill. The mountains too! I was enraptured by the beauty and wonder. The Palisades was once my home. Then I got the call from my Mother that my Auntie’s House in Altadena, CA has burned down. I am grateful for the chance to visit her again a couple years ago. I never imagined that would be the last time I ever visited. Anger, denial, bargaining, I moved up and down the spiral and still am … ultimately landing on acceptance – the last stage.
Taishya with her auntie and cousin at the Ernest Debs Regional Park in CA.
The universe conspires on our behalf again and again. After checking in on loved ones, staying up to date, and sharing resources, my next thought was ‘thank goodness I’ve been doing this grief series cause I have language for what I am feeling! We are on the acceptance part of the grief spiral.
Shortly after the fires, we had the peaceful transition of power from the Biden to the Trump Administration here in the USA. A transition that has caused much fear to those who are on the losing end of a gamed system. Right out the gate, 200 executive orders releasing shock and awe in hopes of flight, fright, freeze, or fawn.
Acceptance vs. Agreement
Acceptance is consent. Accepting the reality of the past and present without denial. Acceptance is not agreement. to exist which differs from giving agreement. Acceptance is not agreement. Agreement is based on opinion while acceptance is based on the facts at hand. Right now, my Auntie’s house is gone. That is a fact. I must accept that. I do not have to agree with it.
As an equity specialist with decades of experience, I am aware of the resistance to accepting realities of the past and the present. Our brain does not help us in these moments as we confront cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance allows one to both believe that wildfires are increasing but there is no connection to the fossil fuel industry. The refusal to accept reality.
Cultural Competence
Where the Spiral of Grief invites us to accept the realities in a given situation, cultural competence asks us to ‘foster mutual adaptation to difference to create environments that are useful for all.’ What’s that now?! Mutual adaptation? Basically, the willingness to take something old and co-create something new.
Now here’s where acceptance comes into play. If the parties involved have not accepted the past and present … the old … then you are not orienting to the moment. You will not be able to co-create something new because denial or bargaining stands in the way. Competence and proficiency requires ongoing self-examination, behaving in a way that demonstrates value for diversity, self-examination, stay engaged develops cross-cultural knowledge and skills, mutual adaptive process rather than assimilation.
How Do You Win?
Cultural proficiency is a transformative realm where our worldviews, attitudes, relationships, policies, and practices undergo a profound metamorphosis. It transcends the limits of mere tolerance, reaching for the heights of the optimal, the universal, the inclusive, and the proficient. It is iterative and different between and across identities within the same individual and/or affinity groups. This is the ultimate departure from separateness, guiding us toward a profound connectedness with our fellow human and non-human kin.
In the realm of cultural proficiency, barriers disintegrate and connections are forged. We come to understand that true proficiency is not solely about acquiring knowledge. It necessitates a transformation of the heart and the evolution of the spirit. This journey beckons us to shed outdated perspectives and embrace a new reality in which diversity is not just acknowledged but exalted, and unity flourishes amidst the intricate tapestry of differences. It’s an evolution that goes beyond surface-level understanding, inviting us to engage deeply, authentically, and harmoniously with the diverse world around us.
Self-Discovery & Examination
We must engage in a continuous process of introspection and self-examination in order to embark on this path. We need to challenge the ‘status quo’ in our own lives and the power dynamics we hold. Whether through work, study, play, volunteerism, what identities have more power in different settings. We embrace the unadulterated truth beneath.
Restore Relations
This dedication drives us to remain constantly engaged, shaping curiosity and an open mind. We must cultivate cross-cultural knowledge and abilities that transcend geographical and social boundaries. This is much more than just recognizing differences. It is about developing genuine understanding, building bridges of connection, and supporting inclusivity that goes beyond superficial interaction. Through this ongoing process, we evolve into agents of positive change, enriching our own lives as well as the lives of those with whom we encounter throughout the cultural spectrum.\
Cultural proficiency is not a zero sum game. Proficiency is a willingness to see the universal and in relationship with all and no that there is no end. As our cultural competence expands so too does our awareness of its complexity. Think you have your head wrapped around one language or spirituality then you find a new intersection that requires additional inquiry and exploration. There can be no finish line.
Where Do We Go From Here
Call to Action
Cultural competency is more than just an intellectual exercise. It is a dynamic journey of reciprocal adaptation honoring differences within the whole in a universe that is constantly expanding. It respects diversity as a necessary ingredient, a valuable asset, an evolving tapestry that deepens our understanding of the world as well as our human reintegration as natural beings. One part of the whole.
For me, each day brings opportunities to transform anger into the fuel necessary to face the complex realities of the past and the present. Acceptance and Anger can go hand and hand. I can accept something and still feel anger and loss. Two things can be true at the same time.
We need renewed systems that allow for sufficient time for reflection at the self, team, and organizational levels embedded through project cycles, quarterly reviews, and annual planning. Cultural competence is as important as financial solvency.
Culture competence provides the foundation necessary to strengthen relationships between fellow humans and our nonhuman kin. If we continue to foster conditions where culturally defensive or destructive can thrive, we will revert back to the dark ages. We each hold a candle to light our path forward if we are willing to look in the mirror, unpack our own complex identities, and let curiosity lead us back to the whole.
